I don’t always know how to explain to people that certain things drain me more than the average person. Certain things suck an outstanding amount of energy out of me.
I’m one strong mofo, and people know that, so they don’t always take time to consider my weak points.
I love going out and experiencing life, but I can’t do it all the time. Socializing physically and mentally drains me.
I’m also very calculated, I don’t like to do things that I don’t think will have a positive outcome. So if that means declining an invitation out because I know at the end of the night I will have felt like it wasn’t worth all the energy I need to get through it, I will decline that invitation. If it means cancelling plans because I’m more anxious about them than I originally thought, I cancel.
It’s not that I’m no fun, it’s not that I can’t be spontaneous etc. It’s that I know my limits, I know what works for me and what doesn’t.
Quite frankly, when I decline or cancel on friends, it’s really just as much for them as it is for me. When I’m not in the right headspace I’m not very fun to be around. Me not participating means no one has to ask me a million times what’s wrong or tell me to smile and I don’t have to get cranky at them for it.
There’s are a lot of complicated things about me, and I just don’t know how to explain them to everyone. Nor do I feel like I should have to all the time, but that’s for another post.