Just kidding, I’m thrilled for Christmas music but I’m cool with Thanksgiving too.
I’m writing this to clear my mind so I apologize for how spacey and bratty it might sound.
It’s been a while since I’ve had something I felt worthy of posting, but this rant is also not super worthy of posting beside the fact some grad student somewhere might relate to it.
My first semester of my Master’s program is coming to a close faster than I would like. I am currently preparing for two papers that are due in 12 days. In high school (and maybe even undergrad during my lighter semesters) 12 days would seem like an eternity.
Right now, that shit is freaking me out. Honestly the only thing that has me really stressed is that I get the impression that one of my professor’s doesn’t think I know what I’m doing.
I’ll admit, the paper I gave him was garbage because my most challenging paper was due a few days before and my time-consuming lit review that was due the same day obviously took priority.
He gave me a good grade but from his comments and email correspondence about the next paper today I can tell he doesn’t think I know what I’m doing.
So, I’ve been beating myself up about it a little bit over the past hour BUT
I know I shouldn’t because I definitely know what I’m doing. I definitely belong here, and I kick ass at writing.
I GOT A 20/20 ON MY MOST STRESSFUL PAPER
I was stressed about that paper so bad that it would take an entire year’s worth of posts for me to explain. The summary goes like this though:
The paper was for my sociology class, a class was super duper lost in the first four weeks of the semester. The paper was a research proposal intended to fill a gap in the theory we had read to that point.
When I tell you I’m not a sociologist and shit had me freaking out to the point that for once in my life I emailed the professor for clarification that I was on the right path, I WAS STRESSED.
But, I fucking did it.
I probably could’ve budgeted time and effort more wisely for all three papers since they were due within four days of each other, but grad school is about learning, right?
So sure I flubbed up at first, but your girl is about to dominate all of these papers.
I just have to treat this professor like I did my freshmen history teacher in high school and just produce work this time that will have him fully realizing whatever his conception of me is now is completely wrong.
I think I feel a little better, but I’m not sure. I really gotta get back to posting even though I’ll be on lock down the next 12 days.