The title of this post is the fun thing my new ban.dō planner told me to try this week.
I’m not going to lie, when I was younger, I was actually interested in playing the drums, mostly because it seemed like a male-dominated activity. I’ve always been a rebel at heart, but I settled for the trumpet because my brother had quit playing it, and there was no way in hell my parents were buying another instrument.
Now that I am older and can do what I want, I might actually start learning to play, but we’ll see.
I really want to use this post to highlight how much there is to do and see in the world, and how much I’ve been holding myself back from a lot of things.
I’m like a complete pro at focusing on the wrong shit, if I am being completely honest. Might be a little hard to believe for some that know me because I’m actually not doing too poorly in life right now, but it’s true.
I’ve never really lost my focus when it comes to academics, but that is the only area of my life for which I can honestly say that.
My birthday is in two days and I’ve spent an insane amount of time doing a few things:
- stressing about my birthday outfit
- stressing about how lame my birthday is going to be
Stressing the first one probably makes sense to most people (but I’ve been totally excessive with it, not even gonna lie). The second one is probably what will throw people off the most.
The truth is, my birthday used to be my favorite day of the year, it used to be special. As I’ve grown older, it’s come to be the exact opposite. All in all, it typically now serves as a reminder that I put more energy and effort into people, and care about people more than they do for me.
A couple of hours ago, I was sulking about this, but since then I have pulled my shit together.
Some yoga, some great music, and some reflection has me feeling centered once again. I’m ready to stop worrying and stressing, and start just living.
Life is too short to be caught up in regrets, maybes, thoughts of what could’ve been or worries about the future. I’ve gotta make the most of each day. I especially need to do this because in a few days most of my life will be consumed by classes and two jobs.
So here’s to a real fresh start, and to doing all the things I could ever imagine in life. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll even play the drums.